My best friend moved to France for the year, so really, I'm all alone here.
Anyway, to make the time roll faster, I've taken to an old form of entertainment-- one I practiced regularly with said best friend when she was in town-- pirating Asian Horror films! And boy, what fun!
I watched a Chinese film called Ngo Joh Aan Gin Diy Gwai (My Left Eye Sees Ghosts). It's about this woman who's in an accident, and with damage to her left optical nerve, upon recovery, can see spirits. It's actually not a horror, like I was hoping for. It's a wacky, Asian Comedy, a genre I havent looked into much. It's kind of dumb, as Asian humor is a little low and slapstick-y, but it turned out to be pretty cute.
I reeeally needed something to laugh at after My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (HUGE sobfest-- I definately recommend if you can tolerate the worst digital effects of your life), so I turned to the never tired, pale, stringy haired, dead girl films, the stars of which like to snap cute living Asian girls like twigs beneath their paranormal and prepubescent fists of fury.
I watched a film called Chakushin Ari (One Missed Call), and my bastard friends (aka, people that somehow have my cell phone number) kept ringing me. I swear one of them will be mysteriously hit by a train or something. Then I shall burst with uproarious cackles of doom.
Do NOT anger the Foreign Film Gods!
And do NOT give me a frickin' heart attack, you pricks!
All during that film, my cell phone was going off, and the number was blocked. I live alone, and I'm watching horror films, I'm freakin' out enough all ready.
Suhlung heh!
And yes, I insult and yell via internet in a foreign language, 'cause that's how mega joogeen-dah I am.
Suck it!

But HOLY FRICK. Where's Said-Best-Friend when I NEED HER?? Chakushin Ari was SO TERRIFYING, I had to keep pausing it!
The scariest thing in film-- to me, obviously-- is the attack of the intangible. Nothing tops a paranormal force, specifically, an angry one that likes to kill people. But this movie combines the scariest thing in film, to one of my biggest fears in reality--- Little girls.
I hate them. They're so sweet, and so cute, but you know, behind those big, curious eyes, hides a barbarous and savage, soul devouring creature, that at any moment--more often when singing or humming a soothing tune--will spring into ninja-like action in their true gorgon form, and tear your voice box out your belly button.
I've watched a lot of Asian horrors. Said-Best-Friend knows. She and I are usually laughing through them too, or she's jumping three feet in the air from her butt (and I have no idea how she does this little trick), and I'm laughing at her for being scared, then she beats the hell out of me with a pillow.
But this.. Is the scariest one yet, I think. I mean, Wishing Stairs was foo-foo Carebears-y compared to this shit. Ju-on, the Simpsons, and Bushinsaba, the Magic School Bus! I could go on, but I wont......

Or maybe it's just extra scary because I'm alone in a house that's been around for decades, and has usual creaks of an old Victorian, and random scampering squirrels across the rooftop, and an exremely unusual infestation of lady bugs.

I dont know....
I dont know.