Paranormal and Prebubescent Fists of FuryAnyway, to make the time roll faster, I've taken to an old form of entertainment-- one I practiced regularly with said best friend when she was in town-- pirating Asian Horror films! And boy, what fun!
I watched a Chinese film called Ngo Joh Aan Gin Diy Gwai (My Left Eye Sees Ghosts). It's about this woman who's in an accident, and with damage to her left optical nerve, upon recovery, can see spirits. It's actually not a horror, like I was hoping for. It's a wacky, Asian Comedy, a genre I havent looked into much. It's kind of dumb, as Asian humor is a little low and slapstick-y, but it turned out to be pretty cute.
I reeeally needed something to laugh at after My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (HUGE sobfest-- I definately recommend if you can tolerate the worst digital effects of your life), so I turned to the never tired, pale, stringy haired, dead girl films, the stars of which like to snap cute living Asian girls like twigs beneath their paranormal and prepubescent fists of fury.
I watched a film called Chakushin Ari (One Missed Call), and my bastard friends (aka, people that somehow have my cell phone number) kept ringing me. I swear one of them will be mysteriously hit by a train or something. Then I shall burst with uproarious cackles of doom.
Do NOT anger the Foreign Film Gods!
And do NOT give me a frickin' heart attack, you pricks!
All during that film, my cell phone was going off, and the number was blocked. I live alone, and I'm watching horror films, I'm freakin' out enough all ready.
Suhlung heh!
And yes, I insult and yell via internet in a foreign language, 'cause that's how mega joogeen-dah I am.
Suck it!
But HOLY FRICK. Where's Said-Best-Friend when I NEED HER?? Chakushin Ari was SO TERRIFYING, I had to keep pausing it!
The scariest thing in film-- to me, obviously-- is the attack of the intangible. Nothing tops a paranormal force, specifically, an angry one that likes to kill people. But this movie combines the scariest thing in film, to one of my biggest fears in reality--- Little girls.
I hate them. They're so sweet, and so cute, but you know, behind those big, curious eyes, hides a barbarous and savage, soul devouring creature, that at any moment--more often when singing or humming a soothing tune--will spring into ninja-like action in their true gorgon form, and tear your voice box out your belly button.
I've watched a lot of Asian horrors. Said-Best-Friend knows. She and I are usually laughing through them too, or she's jumping three feet in the air from her butt (and I have no idea how she does this little trick), and I'm laughing at her for being scared, then she beats the hell out of me with a pillow.
But this.. Is the scariest one yet, I think. I mean, Wishing Stairs was foo-foo Carebears-y compared to this shit. Ju-on, the Simpsons, and Bushinsaba, the Magic School Bus! I could go on, but I wont......
Or maybe it's just extra scary because I'm alone in a house that's been around for decades, and has usual creaks of an old Victorian, and random scampering squirrels across the rooftop, and an exremely unusual infestation of lady bugs.
I dont know....
I dont know.
Yearning
--
"I'll also show you a sweet dream next night"
--
tell me how the view is down there on your knees...
this
really
works!!!!
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1. To yourself, say the name of the only
guy or girl you wanna be with 3
times!
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2. Think of something you wanna accomplish
within the next week and say it to your self
6
times!!
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3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to
yourself 9 times!!!
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4. Think of something that you want to happen
between you and that 1special person and say
it to your self 12
times!!!
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5. Now, heres the hard part! Pick only 1 of these wishes and as
you scroll down focus and
concentrate on it and think on nothing
else but that wish.
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Now make one last &final wish about that one wish
that you picked.
After reading this, you have 1 hour to send it out to 15 people,
and what
you wished for will come true within in one week!
u only get one chance!!!!! Now scroll down and think of your
crush!!!
Keep going
down
Keep going
Keep
going
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you think of your crush? I hope so, that was
your last chance. Now pay very close attention this important
message!
Sorry but once read, must be sent. Yes, this is one of those kinda
chain
letters that everyone hates. This one has been going since 1863
and
if you
break this chain, you will pay!!!!!! Remember that after hearing
these
stories.
First Example:
Take Barbra Wallace.. She was a pretty lucky girl,
up till she got this same chain letter. She had a crush on the same
kid
since kindergarden. when she got this mail she didn't pay any
attention to
it. She just thought, no big deal. And deleted it. The next day her
dad
got fired and her mom dies in a car crash. If she would have sent
the
letter none of that would have happened and her mom
would be alive.
Second Example:
Try Freddie D. Now Freddie D. was your average
nerd. Had glasses, was short and chubby, was in gifted. All the
signs of
your total dork. He also received this letter and sent it to 51
people in
the hour. Now, like Barbra, he had a crush on a girl since 3rd
grade. The
next day after sending the chain the girl confessed her love for
him ever
since 3rd grade. Freddie D. finally had the courage to ask her out,
and of
course, she had been waiting to yes to that for years. They grew
up
and
married each other to live happily forever.
Third Example:
Now if you couldn't relate to the others, this'll
get ya hooked. Listen to this. A kid named Jordan Johnson was just
getting on AOL to check his mail. He was a quiet kid, not that
popular but
not a geek either. he was just normal. He saw he had mail from his
friend. It was this exact letter. Now Jordan Johnsen was a smart
kid and
he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on. He simply pulled
a few
friends from his buddy list and sent it along. The next day,
about
that
same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won the lottery!
then his
dad came home and bought him a new bike! His mom bought him
Nintendo64 and
play station! His grandmother sent him a new computer, and his best
friend
gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to, Kid Rock and
Limp
Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his aunt! He was
goin' wild!
the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they have been
going out
ever since.
Now, you heard the stories. I know
which person i'd rather
be, but thats up to you. I wouldn't wanna end up like Barbra but
thats
only me. We all want what we cant have but now's ur chance to go
out with
that special somebody ur waiting for. Take it or leave it. If you
send
this to-
1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love
life.....forever!!!!!
10 people- your crush will say they like you as a
friend......ONLY!!!!!
15 people- your crush will say they like you
20 people- your crush will ask you out!
25 people- your crush will kiss you!!
30 people - Your crush
will have sex with you
35 people or more- All of the above!!
Don't blow it, it's ur chance to shine! Have
everything u wanted, and more! Now, complaining cus u dont have any
friends. Well theres an answer 4 everything. It's simple, just go
in a
chat room, pick some names and send away! but here's the
catch.....you only
have one hour to send it after being read. Please pass on
i did not think of this
--
Doom Doom Doom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COME TO THE DARK SIDE
WE HAVE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(they're chocolate chip!)
--
Im little Jonny frostbite moving around, freezing you up, freezing you down!
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